Willing To Get On The Skinny Branches?

Where do I stand in life? Am I standing at the bottom of the tree holding on to the trunk for dear life? Am I willing to climb up that tree and get out on the skinny branches to reap life's sweetest fruit? Ask yourself where you stand in life? Most of us I believe are hanging onto the trunk for dear life.

It's safer down here, the wind won't blow me off course here. The branch won't break sending me crashing to the ground. How does that work for us in our life? What are we missing out on if we're not willing to take a risk? Do I wait on others to do it first? Do I wait for others to step up first? Am I afraid to step up because it will make others feel small or offend someone?

How do I know what I'm capable of until I get up there and try it out? How can I know if I'm going to succeed or fail at something if I don't even get off the ground? Is failure really that bad? What I do with those failures is really what's most important. What are they teaching me? Am I learning the lessons from those times that I fall short or fall down?

How am I receiving feedback or coaching from someone? Do I place great value on it? Do I buy all of it or any of it? Feedback is just feedback and nothing more.

What Makes A Great Leader?

This past weekend at Leadership I saw the "Good", "Bad" and the "Ugly" in leadership. I haven't given myself much credit for my leadership skills or what I've even learned in the past year being a trainer in diversity and leadership. I have gained an incredible richness and more powerful depth in that understanding now after experiencing my first weekend of Leadership.

We had people jumping up to lead that trampled right over people. We had people shouting orders. We had people cutting people off, shutting people down. It also amazed me at how easily people will just jump in line and follow the loudest voice without questioning and/or challenging. The easy thing is to have a side conversation about how their not leading, how their not inspiring. It's amazing how people won't take a stand when they know something isn't good or isn't right.

I wonder if that's what really happened during World War II with this leader? I've seen videos where Hitler's yelling and screaming and people are following him. How did he get people to follow him along like sheep? Why didn't the people rise up against what they knew wasn't right? He played the whole thing like a fiddle and people followed right along.

I wonder what people think and say about our current leader? How has his record been? Has he built strong lasting coalitions? Has he united the world as he promised or has he divided it? Has he brought to justice the one ultimately responsible for 9/11? Why do the American people just follow along not taking a stand, not holding our leaders at all levels of our nation accountable?

If I don't take a stand, if we don't take a stand, how the hell do we expect anything to get better? Are we willing to let our leaders take us and our country over the side of the cliff with them? I'm not talking about any party, I'm talking about everyone collectively. Have the American people been served or served if you know what I mean?

What's happened to the leaders like this one? What's happened to people that will take a stand in the face of challenge and controversy? What's happened to our leaders around the world that have sold their people out instead of doing what's best for every one's interest? Churchill inspired his country at the height of bombing of London where people weren't even sure their houses would be standing the next day.

Leadership is about influence and nothing more. It's not about Ego, it's not about looking out only for yourself. It's not about looking good or having power. Leadership is simply about having influence with people to follow you, have faith in you and look for you to inspire them to be their absolute best with no excuses.

Leadership is not about screaming or shouting orders. It's not about shutting people down that don't support your vision. How many times do we shut people down if their not seeing it from our point of view. What if their point of view is more valuable and might bring greater results than either of us could have created on our own?

Great leadership is someone that has GREAT humility, letting go of the Ego. It's about someone who's got your back, not willing to sell you out. It's about creating future leaders in those your leading. I hope and pray over the next 90 days some people in my Leadership class get it.

Grateful To Have Met Ed Beardsley

This post is for a dear one I have the privilege of calling friend. This past weekend she lost her father at the age of 59 and I couldn't be there in person to hold her and cry with her. I was there in spirit and when I read her text message to me that "Dad is gone" tears instantly filled my eyes.

I had the distinct privilege to have met Ed and Sue when they visited Las Vegas last year. Christine called me and asked if I could get them in to see Celine. Christine wanted her parents to experience something as amazing as the show. I didn't promise but I checked with my friend J. Stan to see what he could do.

I met Christine's parents at Excalibur, picked them up in my Jeep and drove them down to Caesars Palace to meet up with J. Stan and would meet them after the show was over. All I can say is amazing, they were the nicest people, salt of the earth that you'd ever want to meet. Ed and I laughed as Sue was trying to keep her hair looking good as I drove them down the strip with the doors off the Jeep and the top down.

I was excited for them because I knew what they were about to experience. I've seen the show many times and I knew the passion J. Stan has in the show and his tour after the show of the stage and behind the scenes is really the highlight for me. I love to watch him show people around, and watch the passion and conviction come out of him. He's got a heart bigger than the State of Nevada and I knew I was leaving Ed and Sue in great hands.

When the show was over, I can't tell you the joy I had to hear their experience and thanking me for something I really didn't feel I had much to do with. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to meet Ed in that brief period of time and let him and Sue both know what a wonderful, loving, caring daughter they have. My heart and prayers go out to you in these darkest hours for your entire family. Here's a poem I found and believe Ed would probably say to those of us left to carry on his memory.

I’m sorry that I had to leave you.

A distant voice called me away.

There was so much left for us to share,

so much we never got to say.

But all my pain is far behind me,

confusion finally laid to rest.

I hope my life here had a reason.

What you do now will be the test.

I died too early, but I always knew I would.

I lived life the way I wanted,

and always looked for something

good in everyone.

As I look down upon you now,

my hopes for you are still so strong.

Better to have loved and lost,

but we haven’t lost for long.

Don’t cry for me, beloved friends.

I've risen beyond this world of fear.

Hold my friendship in your memory,

and always know that I am near.

I know the grief will nearly kill you.

Dry your eyes, and carry on.

Remember me,

for through your lives,

my spirit will live on.

New Beginnings With Old Friends

The biggest value I got out of this weekend of Leadership is getting my friend in Atlanta back.

I haven't spoken to Tim in five years. I didn't realize how easily I cut people out of my life and I don't take a stand for them no matter how uncomfortable it may get. I basically just had the attitude that "Your wish is my command" I now realize that was totally wrong. I let a friendship that means the world to me slip right through my hands without taking a stand, without digging my heals in and fighting for the friendship.

I can't believe all the wasted time. I get it, I train this freaking shit about not taking life for granted, making everyday count. Wow, it's a slap in the face when it's given back to me in such a profound way.

Friday morning I received a call from Tim and I can't tell you all the emotions that instantly filled me. He was amazing, talked like we had just talked a few days ago. I realized in that instant just how much I missed him. The saddest part is five years ago he was the one friend that totally had my back. He was the one I could count on no matter what.

I have learned a lot this past weekend from this workshop and my phone call with Tim. When Tim his a really rough spot in his life instead of showing compassion I showed hard love. I showed anger since I saw him giving up and saw the same reflection in my life. Damn it, if I haven't thrown in the towel why the hell should you was my mentality. I was living it from my experience and protecting me so I wouldn't be hurt. I instantly put up walls so I couldn't be hurt. What I should have done is to simply love him, show compassion and support like he had always shown me. I wish I could go back and re-write history but I'm glad I've gained valuable insight into how I show up or don't show up for the people I love the most.

Tim I'm so glad to have my friend back and I look forward to cocktails at your house this coming weekend when I'm back in Atlanta! I'm excited to show a couple Vegas boys what Atlanta is all about and I'm sure you still know how to turn on that welcome charm of yours!

The Ride Has Started

First night went well and presented its challenges. The ride has started and there's no exiting now, got to see it through to the end. The benefits are yet to be known but I have total faith and confidence that they will be great.

This picture pretty much sums up what emotions I'm feeling as we get started on this journey. I'm taking stands in my life like I've never taken before. I've lived a very blessed life so far but really letting life dictate to me what it's going to give me. It's like wearing the warm up jersey but not getting on the playing field. This time I'm getting out there to play the game bigger than I ever have and create results like I've never created.

I'm getting ready to have a conversation on the phone with a former friend that I amputated out of my life many years ago. I'm nervous but excited at the same time. I've been reflecting back over why we parted ways. How easily it was for me to just write someone off. What hit me this morning is this friend is a true reflection of myself in life. The major event that happened really hurt even though I didn't let it show. I had to play the tough guy and show no emotion. I had to give tough love while everyone else was tippy toeing around the subject. I realized I was pissed and angry because I saw myself in that place and time and damn it if I haven't given up on myself why should him.

No matter what the outcome this morning, I'm going to be brave about taking this first hill on the roller coaster and see where it takes me.

Thanks for all the emails of support especially from my cousin Tina and Marilyn. Even though miles separate us, I feel the love and support from you both! Tina, tell Hector "Sweet Cheeks" says happy birthday! Love you both!!

Lofty Goals

Tomorrow night starts Leadership. I have to say I am nervous yet excited. I've set goals that are lofty yet obtainable. I wonder what John F. Kennedy was feeling when he set the goal of putting a man on the moon and returning him safely to earth. NASA had stacks of evidence why it wouldn't happen, however Kennedy has a larger vision. Wonder how he was feeling about his stand.

My three major goals are:

I will lose 30 pounds in 90 days. I will be credit card debt free in 90 days. I will find myself in a committed relationship by November 18th. Those are the three goals I'm committed to achieving by the end of Leadership.

My director is currently going through leadership and said it will stretch me. She's been a great support and continues to support me through this training. I've already gotten clarity on a lot of things and excited about continuing breakthroughs for the next three months.

I will be calling people on Saturday and Sunday to share my experience for about an hour each. If you're interested in hearing about my breakthroughs let me know by Friday afternoon. I have three sessions left Saturday at 7:30 p.m. or 9 p.m. and Sunday at 11:30. I won't expect anyone on the East coast to take me up on the Saturday calls unless you're a night owl.

I'm excited about posting on here during this journey so stay tuned for AMAZING results!

100 Days of Coaching

I'm excited, this weekend is the start of Leadership for me. I get 90 days of coaching from a personal coach. I have to have a personal strategic plan for myself and what I'm going to accomplish in the next 90 days. I have to have physical fitness goals as well as community service and other things.

I will be held accountable by my coach and he or she will not sell out on me even when I may try to sell out on myself. I'm learning what I've been teaching other people on a much deeper level. I'm excited to see the results I'll be creating and what that will look like at the end of this journey.

The whole world is opening up to me and the possibilities in that world. Life is about service to others and how am I serving my fellow man? Leadership starts within but it's an outwardly focus. I'm excited about getting involved in the community and giving a few hours a week to charitable organizations.

I got to distribute water on a hot day to the homeless on the downtown streets of Las Vegas where there's over 13,000 homeless living. That's the population of the town I grew up in. My heart just broke when I saw this young woman sitting on the street looking back at me. The love I saw in her eyes and the desire to just be loved was so overwhelming. I found myself not caring what someone looked like, how someone smelled, I would gladly give them a hug if they wanted one. People just want to be loved and it was such an incredible feeling giving it so freely not expecting a thing in return for it.

I'm so blessed with my life and everything I've been given that it's long overdue that I give back to my community and people around me.

Transformation In Progress

Ok sorry to those of you that were a little freaked out by my last post. I haven't had the time while in the workshop to post since Thursday night. The weekend changed Friday and by Sunday night I didn't want to leave. I went on only four hours sleep four nights in a row and then stayed up 24 hours and still feeling a rush of energy life I haven't had in years.

I go back this coming weekend for another three days of intense leadership training and can't wait. The sky's really the limit now in life. I'm excited to see what I'm going to create in the next 90 days. Leadership is taking it to the next level and being coached everyday for 90 days straight. No excuses, it's about taking responsibility and creating extraordinary results.

I have to say Saturday night was probably one of the most if not the most amazing nights of my life. It was emotionally overwhelming in such a positive way. I've made a new family here in Las Vegas and across the nation. It's incredible what you can do when you get the self righteousness, self defeating, self degrading conversations out of your head.

I've had conversations with family members this week that have shown me just how much love and trust they have in me. I discovered I was worried really for nothing. At the end of the day it's about character and how you live your life. I'm living mine full throttle from now on out. Looking forward to posting about my experiences over the next 90 to 100 days to show you my progress!!

Thanks everyone for your love and support.

What The F$@%

Tonight was the first night of the Breakthrough training at Choice Center. I thought I was ready, I thought I was going to have a major break through and gain clarity about myself and the direction I'm headed. I'm not allowed to share any of the processes, but I am allowed to share what my experience has been. The title of this post says it all!

I am now more confused, more angry than I think I've ever been in my life. I thought I was gaining strength in who I am just to find out that it offends people. Driving home tonight at 12:30 I was thinking about all the ignorance in the world. All the people who think they experience the pain and suffering another human being has gone through but has never walked in their shoes.

This is an exert of an email I sent to a friend tonight:

I’m in the middle of some intense training that I’ve never experienced before in my life. I am simply taking time for myself to discover my self worth. I will be in this workshop 14 hour days through Sunday. I can’t share the processes but I will share that for the first time since I was a young man wrestling with my sexuality that I have had thoughts of suicide pop back into my head. I shared with my group tonight that I wish I wasn’t gay! I wish there was a pill I could take that would make me “A” sexual. Needless to say I’m dealing with demons in my life that I’ve somehow covered up. I’ve also discovered that people see me as fake, unauthentic, self righteous among other things. I’m not looking for you to respond or come to my rescue on these things. I’m just simply letting you see where I am at this point in my life.

Again, as I stated to him in this email. I'm not looking for a pity party, looking for someone to rush to my aid or rescue me. I am looking for people to support me in this journey of self discovery without passing judgement, without having the "right" answers for me. I don't want sympathy, compassion or really even empathy. I do want people to see me and others as souls in this world doing the best they can possibly at that moment.

I will say that you may not recognize me by the end of this weekend. I'm determined to see this trough and see what benefits await me! Hang on this may be a bumpy ride!!

CHIPPENDALES 30TH REUNION...

Ok this picture is just amazing, look at the definition and what it must have taken to get these bodies! I am hoping this weekend to find that commitment and dedication these guys must have had to get to this place.








Now this picture of the Chippendales 30 years later I think is just wrong! What the hell happened? What the hell is the little guy on the far right looking for? Someone once told me that nothing grows in the shade. Whatever he's looking for don't think he's going to find it.

This last picture definitely gives me motivation to get my ass into the gym more often! Tomorrow is day one of part two of Choice Center. I'm looking forward to it and also nervous. They say this will be much more intense than the first session we had a couple weeks ago. It should be interesting to see what's buried way below the surface. I'm prepared to deal with anything that comes my way! Bring it on world is my thinking!!

On A School Night!!!!!

Wow, the past couple of nights have been memorable. Vegas never sleeps and I haven't much in the past couple nights so not sure how I'm setting myself up for the second part of Choice Center. Starting Thursday I will be back to 12 to 14 hour days for four days in a row.

Last night my work team joined a former team member for dinner at the MGM Grand. This was a picture taken early in the evening when I believe we only had our first tequila shot. We enjoyed great food, incredible laughter almost more than what's good for you. Mary Ann sampled several tequila's at the bar before she brought a round of shots to the table. It taught me a lesson, maybe the next time I'll go to the bar for shots and see what samples I can get.

This second picture was taken at the end of the evening. Mary Ann said these items were from one of her recent classes, however I wonder if it wasn't "For Such A Time As This". We were definitely prepared and qualified to adorn all this attire and take a team photo. It was definitely great to see Martin again and hear about his travels and future travels. The DLM position prepared him well for this path he's walking now. Congratulations to Martin on this well deserved role he's playing and influencing young people's lives in such an impactful way. All I have to say is we'd better see some pictures of Thailand and Europe from your next couple months.

Martin also mentioned that his group will have a 60 second spot in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York so look for him. In the first picture he's on the far left sitting down. Thanks team for giving me a night to remember for many years to come!

Lazy Pool Day

Today was one of those few times I cherish being by myself with nothing urgent or necessary to do other than relax. I had today off since I trained on Saturday. I met a couple friends for lunch at Jason's Deli (One of my favorite places for lunch) and enjoyed the company.

I shopped a little bit for some new t-shirts since I have a habit of wearing them out. I went to my favorite place Ross Dress for Less, actually we called in "Cross Dress for Less" in Atlanta since many drag queens shop there. I hit the jack pot as we like to say in Vegas. Bought ten new t-shirts all different styles. Think the farm boy in me was coming out since my two favorites were John Deer shirts! One is John Deer Green and the other talks about playing in the dirt!

I returned home and cleaned the pool before I jumped in and floated around for a couple hours. I cherish those few moments just floating in the pool forgetting about all the other things going on in life. The only thing that would have made today more relaxing would have been having Trent and Richard floating in the pool with me talking about the things we talk about.

I'm headed to Atlanta at the end of the month for Labor Day weekend with two friends from Vegas. I can't wait to be sitting at Star Bucks at Ansley watching people walk by and talking about life with those close friends. I can't wait until Eddie and Rob see what I left behind when I returned to Vegas. I thank God for those days since it formed friendships that I will have through the remainder of my life.

How Do I "Tee" Up?

I’ve become conscious of my language and how I “tee” a conversation up. I believe it’s my form of protection. If I preempt what I’m going to say with something, then if someone doesn’t agree or I don’t deliver what I intended to say, I can always fall back on how I originally started. For example if I’m getting ready to play black jack I will start by saying “I’m not very good at math”. That’s my “tee”, I’ve teed it up with I’m not good at math. If I don’t end up playing well, I will say “see I told you I wasn’t good at math”.

Our words are powerful. What I say becomes my reality whether it is or not. If I say I’m not good at math, then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I had a conversation with a good friend last night and actually heard him “teeing” something up and I stopped him. He then told me that he didn’t say it in an interview but he was thinking about it. I wonder even if we don’t say it but think it; does it still have the same effect?

I have caught myself checking how I’m “teeing” up and changing it. I’m discovering great power in just changing my communication. I also wonder if how many times I’ve “teed” up and not made it to my target?


It’s like this picture, I want to get it in the hole but if I’ve already positioned myself that I’m deficient in some way then it may make it to the edge but won’t score me any points in life.

Some of the ways I’ve positioned my communication has kept me in the mindset that I’m not adequate or worthy. This is not a good place to be and keeps me from reaching my dreams. It keeps me from pushing myself harder than I ever have. It’s giving me a psychological out.



"The man who thinks he can, and the man who thinks he can't, are both right" - Author Unknown

All The Wasted Time & Energy

I have discovered the only one who’s been fooled is me. I can’t tell you how much time and energy I’ve put into keeping my personal life personal. One of the highest driving values I have is honesty. There’s one aspect of my life that I haven’t felt I can be honest about due to events and circumstances. I also thought I did a pretty good job of keeping everyone fooled about who I am. It turns out the joke is on me!

I have had a couple conversations on the phone within the past week. I have reached out to people who are very important to me and shared with them that I am gay. My biggest fear is rejection. I feared they would see me through all the stereotypes that go along with being gay. I have been blown away by the responses of my Florida Mom and my cousin who has been like a sister since we were kids.

What I have discovered is they have known for a very long time. They have both given me space and opportunities to talk about it. I never took those opportunities due to fear of losing their love and acceptance. I’ve discovered I was putting my issues, stories and stereotypes on them instead of letting them have their own reaction to it. I now look back on all the energy I used to hide something they already suspected and didn’t really care about. Both of them said it doesn’t change who I am. I can't tell you how much love I have for these people who have shown me unconditional love!!

For too long I have lived through my negative experiences of being forced out of a job at Bank One and forced out of a church due to suspicions. I have moved thousands of miles away from my immediate family in fear they would find out. I have lost family time, friend time, precious time due to these fears.

I wish someone would have told me a long time ago that I could be who I am without masks, without stories and it would be ok. I have some friends who may immediately pray upon reading this post. I have my own views and I don’t put God in any box. I believe God doesn’t make mistakes, I believe he loves me and he’s much more enlightened than any of us here on earth. Believe me it’s hard to be gay and spiritual/religious. I just thank God I grew up in church and my foundation is built upon Him. I plan on seeing everyone in heaven when my time on this planet is finished.

I will close with this quote:

“I would rather have a mind opened by wonder, than one closed by belief” - Gerry Spence

Power of Win/Win

How often in life am I out for myself and my interests? How often in life am I out for others and the interest of the group? Is my experience coming from a genuine honest place? What do I want to gain from those around me?

I had to ask myself some of these hard questions today. I needed to have a conversation with a fellow co-worker whom I care deeply about but was showing up for me in life like a bull in a china shop.

I kept coming up with all kind of excuses why I should wait to talk with her about how I was experiencing her. I originally started out the conversation about how she made me feel. However my coach pointed out, she doesn’t make me feel anything. I feel those things cause that’s the stuff I put with how I’m experiencing her.

My coach also pointed out, why wait until September or next week? Life is happening now. He asked me if I was going for a win/win scenario with this person. If I was, why wait? How am I playing the game of life with her and my work team? I asked myself the same question when he said it. Why am I waiting? If the feedback I have is genuine from a pure place, than I owe it to her, myself and our team to have communication now.

Wow what power is in that, we are closer now than we were a few hours ago. I created the space for us to communicate. I didn’t attack and I didn’t have any ill feelings toward this person. I wanted her to be aware this was my experience with her and wanted to ensure others won’t have the same. I also wanted to protect her from anyone who might look at it from a negative or find something to use against her later.

I keep learning everyday and it’s amazing me what I’m learning!

Cut the Crap and Get Real

Tonight was our guest event at Choice Center. I had a couple close friends attend the workshop with me and that meant a lot. Anytime someone gives their time, that's a precious gift that I don't take lightly. I have not felt the support or network of people here in Las Vegas like I did in Atlanta. I feel like I'm at the start of something great now. I've met some incredible people and look forward to deepening the friendships I've started.

They asked us to share how life’s been since Sunday night. One thing came to mind. I told the group tonight I feel like I’m drowning in a sea of bullshit.

There is so much bullshit people put out in the world, it’s hard to see someone for who they truly are. People show up behind their stories, interpretations, perceptions and beliefs about life that they don’t even know what the truth is anymore.

I find myself rising slightly above it and now recognizing it from a different level.

The only way I can describe it is having an out of body experience where I’m separate from it and looking at it from outside instead of being in the thick of it. I also have realized this is why I’ve felt at times like I’m an alien from another planet not messing well with people and their stuff. It’s also funny when people around me don’t want to take responsibility for their behaviors and actions and try to lay it back on me.

Well I got news, Craig’s not buying the BS anymore. I’m not buying that there’s something wrong with me. I’m not buying that I’m not good enough anymore. I’m not buying that I’m not attractive enough. I’m not buying it that I’m something less than a powerful man.

Motivation or Lack of Motivation?

What does it take to find the motivation in myself? People can inspire you but they can not motivate you. Motivation comes from some where inside of each and every one of us. Someone can inspire me to go to the gym and workout but I have to find the motivation to do it and keep doing it.

I found these assumptions in “The Eighth Habit” and it makes sense with what I’m struggling with.

For the Body – assume you’ve had a heart attack; now live accordingly.

For the Mind – assume the half-life of your profession is two years; now prepare
accordingly.

For the Heart - assume everything you say about another, they can overhear; now speak accordingly.

For the Spirit - assume you have a one-on-one visit with your Creator every quarter; now live accordingly.

I have hit some bumps in the road; however I have to keep the motivation high to
keep going further physically. I am committed to creating a new me both inside
and out. I want my exterior to match my interior. I will be attractive to someone
that will recognize the gift they have in front of them.

Cleaning My View of Myself

Today was interesting as if seeing life through a clean window that had not been cleaned in years. Things happen in my life everyday and I automatically put my interpretation on the event. It can be as simple as someone frowning at me or not saying hello when I pass them in the hall. Instantly I ask myself, what’s wrong with me? Why were they rude to me? Why didn’t they acknowledge me? I automatically put it on myself instead of recognizing it for what it was… just an event.

I’ve been the type of person that takes other people’s problems and places them on myself. What a defeating mentality to have. I need to own my stuff not someone else’s. I have enough of my own challenges throughout the day without taking on someone else’s issues.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m not going to be there for friends in the future. I’m talking about the interactions I have on a daily basis with people around me. There is great power in recognizing that I don’t have to take on the problems of the world or try and fix myself for someone else. I’m taking responsibility for my actions and behaviors. I’m done playing the victim role. I have the ability to choose my results in any situation.

I caught myself a few times today “teeing” up with something that wasn’t necessary. When I’m about to say something, why do I have to preempt with something? It’s my self defense mechanisms. For example if I say “I’m not good at math”, when I get the answer wrong, people will be ok with me because I’ve already said I wasn’t good at math. The result of “teeing” up that way turns it into my reality. I’m speaking it into existence and it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I’m excited about what life is teaching me and excited about what the future holds.

New Vision

"You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step" - Martin Luther King

I just arrived home after a long weekend at Choice Center. What an amazing experience. By the end of the night I felt like I could fly. The love in that training room between total strangers in just a few days was indescribable! I've made new connections in Las Vegas and see deep friendships starting here. It's about freaking time.

I have a new vision for my life and new direction. I'm putting the work into myself and looking forward to the unlimited results I will produce. I worked on reconnecting with parts of myself I had totally forgotten. I've given my power to other people and circumstances and as of today I am taking it back. I'm at the beginning of my journey and have a lot more work to do. I'll be going back for part B of this workshop on August 16th.

I've committed to living my life authentically with honestly and integrity like never before. I will do the right thing even when no one else is watching.

Stay tuned, I'll be writing about my mother and some other people I've talked with on the phone in the past few days. Thanks to the angels in my life that have given me their love and support.

Get Out Of The Comfort Zone

It was another amazing evening looking at how I approach life. What am I seeing through my unique lens? Do I play the victim role or do I take responsibility for my life? I believe the real power is when you take responsibility. No matter what happens to me I am in control when I am taking responsibility.

I was brought back to something I had posted before. The meaning is amazing:

The Warriors Dream:

A lot of what we do is to protect ourselves…
We get locked into our roles and then we are not as effective as we can be, because we are holding onto people and things that are stifling us…
Letting go of what we are aware no longer serves us now, and walking into the unknown, is taking the next step as a warrior…
It’s about being out front… moving beyond limits…
There is an innate desire in all creatures to grow …
Yet in any type of growth and change something has
to end for something new to begin...

What are the things I'm holding on to? What are the stories I've created in my life about the way I am or the way other people are? There are things in my life that are holding me back from being the absolute best I can possibly be. This workshop is assisting in uncovering those things.

What's Staring Back At Me In The Mirror?

To catch a few of you up and answer questions I've received from emails. I am not changing jobs. I'm not moving out of Las Vegas. I'm not going through mid-life crisis. I am still teaching diversity and leadership for MGM MIRAGE, Nevada's largest employer.

I started a workshop last night that will continue on this entire weekend. It's focus is on personal effectiveness and leadership. It's almost like life boot camp. It's about taking a deep look into myself and seeing what's there. What do I need to change, what is or isn't working for me in life. It's about tapping into my unlimited abilities. I am my greatest barrier to success and it's about reaching and achieving new heights in my life in all arenas.

What do I see when I look in the mirror, do I like what I see? How's that working for me?

I've determined it's better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you're not.

I will share what I see in the mirror is not what's pictured here. I have lived through other people's expectations, values, belief systems and it's time to stop the cycle.

"No man for any considerable period can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true." - Nathaniel Hawthorne

I have lived from the context that I am not "good" enough, I'm not worthy of someones love. I have lived for the approval of others. I have lied to those closest to me in fear I would loose their love.

"All children are born geniuses; 9,999 our of every 10,000 are swiftly, inadvertently degeniusized by grownups." - Buckminster Fuller

Back On-Line and Ready to Go

OK, I'm going to ask for anyone interested in my blog to share with me what you'd like to know or see? I can write about my personal life and what I'm experiencing as if I'm writing a diary. I can write about inspirational things. I can write about entertaining things happening in Vegas. I can write about all the above. I've had one friend suggest I put a lot of pictures on my blog.

I guess what I'm looking for is what has kept you reading my posts in the past or what would keep you interested in future posts? Please take a couple minutes and post your answers/comments to those questions.

I am making a commitment tonight (2:10 a.m.) to stick with my blog and write daily. The benefit to this commitment is being able to take a reflective look back at progress I've made in my life. No matter what I write about, I learn from it.

I started a workshop tonight at a place called "Choice Center" here in Las Vegas. It's intense training in personal effectiveness and Leadership. I will be examining myself, my belief systems, my results I create in life and what I hide behind that holds me back from being the best I can possibly be.

The first night's already been rough since I've had to examine relationships in my life that are important to me. I will open up and share more as the workshop goes on, however I will say, get ready world, you may not recognize the Craig that will emerge from this workshop!!