Cleaning My View of Myself

Today was interesting as if seeing life through a clean window that had not been cleaned in years. Things happen in my life everyday and I automatically put my interpretation on the event. It can be as simple as someone frowning at me or not saying hello when I pass them in the hall. Instantly I ask myself, what’s wrong with me? Why were they rude to me? Why didn’t they acknowledge me? I automatically put it on myself instead of recognizing it for what it was… just an event.

I’ve been the type of person that takes other people’s problems and places them on myself. What a defeating mentality to have. I need to own my stuff not someone else’s. I have enough of my own challenges throughout the day without taking on someone else’s issues.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m not going to be there for friends in the future. I’m talking about the interactions I have on a daily basis with people around me. There is great power in recognizing that I don’t have to take on the problems of the world or try and fix myself for someone else. I’m taking responsibility for my actions and behaviors. I’m done playing the victim role. I have the ability to choose my results in any situation.

I caught myself a few times today “teeing” up with something that wasn’t necessary. When I’m about to say something, why do I have to preempt with something? It’s my self defense mechanisms. For example if I say “I’m not good at math”, when I get the answer wrong, people will be ok with me because I’ve already said I wasn’t good at math. The result of “teeing” up that way turns it into my reality. I’m speaking it into existence and it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I’m excited about what life is teaching me and excited about what the future holds.