Spent My Sunday Time Well

This morning I asked myself how I would spend the hours given to me today. I am happy to say that I have had a fulfilling day that started with attending the late service at Central Christian. The message series again was about happiness. It's amazing the wisdom I take away from about every experience I'm in. I find myself taking a journal book to Church along with my Bible so I can take notes about the message and how I can apply it in my life.

Tonight I am reflecting back on the past couple Sunday's where I've started this new practice.

I'm getting ready to register to take the Church's six week orientation program called "Starting Point" in order to become a member. I love Centrals motto "Come As You Are" I'm still getting use to the fact that people literally come as they are in shorts, flip flops, t-shirts and jeans like myself. Even the late service at 11:45 a.m. today was packed with probably 2,000+ people.

Wisdom I gained today is about letting my light shine brightly. Don't hide it or try and dim it. Be a bright light in the world and the darker the darkness is, the brighter the light is. Be a light by my deeds, not by protesting or picketing something but by my actions toward others.

Jud (Sr. Pastor) said Christians can be the most vicious, and say the most horrible things in the name of God. It's about being a bright light to the world. Interesting question he posed last week; "If you were put on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?" I personally believe yes, but want a ton more evidence to convict.

A New Day To Spend...

It's about 9:35 and I'm getting ready to hit the shower in preparation for attending Church. I'm excited since it's like going to the gas station filling my tank. Central Christian is like filling up my spiritual gas tank for the week. I've got a big week ahead of me so what a better way to start the day.

This is a picture of a sunrise over Las Vegas. The mountain is called sunrise mountain and it's near my house.

The sunrise reminds me that I've been granted another 24 hours. It questions how I will spend those 24 hours. Will I make the most of it, will I let it escape away without using it at all? It's only usable today, I can't carry it over to tomorrow. How much in the past have I wasted that I could have used for better purposes?

It's great to get up in the morning and walk around the golf course watching the rabbits hopping around. It's the simple things in life that I love the most. It's getting cooler now and the mornings are lightly crisp but I still don't need a jacket which is nice.

Hope everyone reading this is having a great Sunday and you're spending time with those who matter most to you. Remember how you spend these next 24 hours is up to you. Will it count toward your legacy or will it be wasted? Once it's gone it's gone.h

The Tears Have Already Started...

I still have two more days left with Finley but the tears have already started to fall. I was driving home tonight listening to a song on my iPod and started crying. I'm sure I'll be doing a lot more of that tomorrow at the conclusion of her last class that I'm co-facilitating with her.

Finley and I have had challenges through the past year and both have grown from the experience. She was assigned as my coach throughout the learning process. There were many times we didn't see eye to eye on things. There were many times where I just wanted to tell her to go jump. There were many times I didn't care for the feedback I was receiving or didn't like the delivery in which it was coming.

Looking back on the entire working relationship I can say I'm a much stronger facilitator and much stronger person for having her as my coach. I realize she really did want to see me succeed and was pushing me to be the best I could be and not settle for my "good enough". I have learned my best co-facilitation skills from working closely with her. These past few months have been the best workshops I've trained when it's been her and I.

I'm truly going to miss the daily inter actions I have with her. I'm going to miss the coaching I get during the workshops. I'm going to miss her quick wit and sense of humor. Most of all I'm going to miss my friend working so closely with me. I am praying that tomorrow evening I can express to her just what a profound impact she's had on my life and I am a much better person for knowing her.

Making New Memories with Old Friends...

I picked up Bob and Angela (Schimpf) Prochazka after work visiting from Cleveland Ohio. Angela and I graduated high school together and have been good friends ever since. I've had the pleasure of watching her two beautiful girls grow up through her emails and pictures she sends.

Bob and Angela come to Vegas once a year around September. The past three years they have visited we've gotten together and I've gotten to tour them around the city. The first year I took them to Hoover Dam, last year I took Angela to Mt. Charleston while Bob stayed behind in the casino. Today I took them to Red Rock Canyon on the West side of Las Vegas.

One of my greatest pleasures in life is sharing experiences with people they've never experienced before. When I lived in Orlando I use to love taking family and friends to Disney World and playing tour guide. I love doing the same thing when people visit Las Vegas. I love sharing the history, glamour and dark sides of Vegas with people who have never experienced it before.

Tonight was a triple treat since Bob and Angela haven't been to Red Rock. We visited somewhere they had never been. We hiked into the canyon a little, nothing major but it had all three of us breathing hard. I said it was the elevation which at least sounded good. Angela was nervous about breaking a leg, but not as nervous as when she say the wild cat of some sort!

The road around Red Rock is about seven miles. I found a couple trails to put the Jeep into 4 wheel drive and explore off roading. The first trail wasn't anything major. The second trail was much better with more challenging conditions. We drove a good distance into the mountain range near sunset and it was absolutely beautiful. Angela was a little nervous the cat was going to jump into the Jeep since we didn't have the top or doors on it. When Angela first yelled cat, I was looking for something like a house cat, but when I caught a short glimpse it looked more ferocious. It wasn't a courage but it wasn't small either.

I forgot to ask until we were already on the trail head if either of them had gull or kidney stones before I shook them out. What I didn't realize is neither Bob or Angela had either one been off roading. I believe they were a little nervous, but had a blast doing it. I offered to let Bob drive but he declined. I think he was glad to see the paved road at the end.

I love giving people experiences they've never had before and making memories that will last a lifetime. Life is about having a blast in whatever you do!

When Enough is Enough

I had another great day that started taking a friend from Choice Center to Church with me at Central. The series for the month is on happiness and has been a great learning along my path. I'm surrounded by propaganda promising happiness when I buy this or that. When I get the latest and greatest I'll be happy. It's a bunch of horse shit, the happiness sticks with me for only a short period of time. Usually until the next greatest thing comes out that I usually can't afford.

It's amazing how I've thought when I get a better paying job I'll be happy. When I can afford a house I'll be happy. When I get that long term relationship I'll be happy. Well guess what everyone I'm happy. I'm happy with who I am. I'm happy with what my values and principles are. I'm happy with my deep and long lasting friendships. I'm just all around happy without any of those other things I've thought would bring me happiness.

Jud talked today about a friend of his who told him the opposite of poverty isn't wealth. The opposite of poverty is "enough". This same friend lives in a double wide although he could afford a better home. When Jud asked him why he doesn't buy something better, the response was "When it's enough it's enough" How simple that is and yet how profound.

If I and society could get that simple concept "when it's enough it's enough" how different our world would be. People would have less stress, more money, deeper friendships and relationships just to name a few. Wouldn't it be great to live in a world where I don't have to keep up with the Jones?

Playing It Big In A Different Context

The decision came to me like a bolt of lightening this morning. I’ve chosen not to continue with Leadership at this time in order to focus 100% on MGM MIRAGE and my team there. My phone started going crazy this morning after I made that decision and I appreciate everyone’s concern and support. I absolutely made the right choice for my team both at Choice Center and at MGM MIRAGE.

This decision doesn’t for one moment change who I am or what I stand for. I have been truly blessed with my work in diversity and leadership. I am in contribution everyday at work with 26 to 52 new people every week. I am involved in community service which I will continue. I am also blessed that I am in a learning community everyday as a vocation. I am applying what I learned from Vision and Breakthrough everyday in my personal and professional life and everyone around me is noticing the shifts.

I’m excited about what the future holds for each of my family members from Choice Center and look forward to them coming out of third weekend with incredible insights into their leadership abilities. I will continue supporting them in any way needed, just not from the context of this program.

I believe my greatest breakthrough came this morning when I for the first time truly listened to my intuition and went with my gut. I'm also thankful for all the incredible people who've entered my life in the past two months. Ya'll ROCK!

Decisions Decisions Decisions

Tonight I'm faced with decisions. I've listened to everyone else and their opinions on what I should do and what I shouldn't do. There comes a time when you quit listening and in fact it reminds me of a quote that I don't remember who said, but it was something about "You're actions are speaking so loudly that I can't even hear you" or something like that.

There comes a time when the ultimate decision is mine and I have to make it and I have to live with it. There comes a time where everyone else's input just won't make the decision for you and actually gets in the way.

I have learned however that some decisions I make will not please everyone. They may not please anyone in fact, but again I am the ultimate one my decisions will effect. I believe as a leader, life it really about making difficult choices that may not be popular, may not be accepted, may not even be welcomed, but at the end of the day I get to live with those choices no matter if their right or wrong, their still my choices.

The greatest freedom we have as a human being is our power to choose. I choose not to let anyone take that freedom or power away from me.

Power of Thoughts

Yesterday and today have been interesting to listen to people's conversations. It amazes me how many people have already crossed the bridge before really even getting to it. I hear people tell me what the scenario is going to be before it ever happens. I warned my mother last night about the power of thoughts and having something become a self-fulfilling prophecy if we hold onto it hard enough.

I shared with my Mom that I have to consciously choose my attitude at the start of the day before people or circumstances choose it for me. I have had my share of bad days at work but overall the great days way out weigh the bad ones. If I focus on the negative or something that didn't necessarily go my way then my day is going to follow that energy. I ask myself a question really quick, how does this serve me and if it doesn't than I get rid of it quickly.

I've also found power in holding others to a higher standard as well. When I hear someone complaining, moaning, whining I simply call it as I see it. How am I helping someone if I don't? If I don't call it out then I'm enabling the behavior. I've found strength in this practice because it also helps me identify those same behaviors in me. Why do I waste the energy complaining to someone who can do nothing about the situation? Isn't it better for me to go directly to the source and hit it head on?

I remember a phrase Marianne Williamson has said in the past. "The truth shall set you free, but first it will piss you off" She hit it right on the head. When someones giving me feedback or calling me out on my actions and behaviors I might not like it but after I get past the pissed off part I may find great value in it.

I challenge each of you this week to set your attitude for the day before you feet even hit the floor in the morning. If you speak it out, then no matter what challenges come your way, you've already declared how you're going to be today.

Another One Down and Another One Down...

It's with bitter sweet sorrow that I will bid farewell to another member of our training team next week. Finley has turned in her notice that she'll be leaving MGM MIRAGE a week from Friday.

Finley and I have had our ups and downs, but we've both grown from them. We've come out on top and learned from each other. The past few months I have enjoyed training with her and we've learned to co-facilitate well together. We found that space where we could bounce off one another very well. I loved the times we would co-facilitate the team building processes.

I owe a lot to Finley for being my coach. She was tough and at times we didn't see eye to eye but that has made me better. I will miss those days in the classroom with her and her quick wit. I'm totally excited about her new opportunity and wish her all the success in the world. Finley will graduate in December with her Masters degree and her new company will reap the rewards.

Soar Like An Eagle

When I look at the people in my life I have many different types sharing that space. I have some chickens and everyone knows chickens don't fly unless their being chased by an ax. The peck around on the ground picking at anything they can. I know people with the same characteristics. The you have your hawks and crows, flying around looking for dying or dead things they can pull apart. Again I know people in my life that do the equivalent of that as well. Always negative, always looking for something to pull apart at the first chance.

Then you have the eagle, and the eagle can soar at 30,000 feet. It's the only bird that can survive at that altitude. Commercial airline pilots have seen eagles at that elevation.

The eagle twice the size of the hawk and crow could easily take either of them out of they sky. The eagle doesn't say "you pesky crow", no it simply spreads it's wings, catching the thermal winds and soars to an altitude where it knows hawks and crows can't survive.

I have the same choice everyday at where I'm going to play life. Am I going to be a chicken just pecking around on the ground? Am I going to be a crow or hawk just looking for anything I can be negative about and pull apart? Am I going to be an eagle and just spread my wings and "rise above it?"

The power is in the last choice. I choose to rise above it and continue soaring with the eagles.

It's Not What Happens To You...

Years ago I got the pleasure of meeting a speaker at Bank One named W. Mitchell. He is an extraordinary man with a message of inspiration. He shared a phrase with us "It's not what happens to you, it's what you do about it" His words meant a lot looking at the man in front of us in a wheel chair and burn scars all over his face. He had no fingers on either one of his hands and in his words really looked like a monster.

Years prior he was riding his motor cycle and was involved in a car accident. His gas tank cap popped open and 2 1/2 gallons of gas poured all over him then igniting. He was burnt over 65% of his body. In 1971 if you were burnt 75% they considered you dead. He had a 50/50 chance of surviving and after a 2 week coma he awakened.

Four years later he was flying a small plane and at take off there was too much ice on the wings and at 1,000 feet the plane came crashing back to the runway and smashed like a pancake. He was paralyzed from the accident.

This man has been through two tragic events that left him in a wheel chair and burn scars over 65% of his body. This man has the most incredible attitude. He's since written his book titled "It's Not What Happens To You It's What You Do About It" His book is about putting yourself in charge. It's about knowing your own inner beauty. Discovering your strengths and abilities. For a man that has every reason to be bitter and angry at life, he's a source of inspiration.

It's amazing how some people have the worst attitudes and let other choose their attitudes for them. Then you have this amazing man who determines what his future will be and creates his vision for himself and the world!

"Good guys may appear to come in last but they're really in a different race." --Ken Blanchard

Another Great Weekend of Learning

Tonight I finished the "Inner Warrior" training and what an amazing experience. It makes me wonder though how many freaking layers are there to the onion of my life? I keep peeling layer up layer and seems like there's a lot more to peel away.

I wasn't looking forward to this weekend on Friday night. I was coming up with all kinds of great stories as to why I didn't have the time or energy to go through it. I was almost late getting there since I had to find Oil Pastels which I thought were paints but actually turned out to be chalk type things.

I am so glad I got to experience this training. Driving there today and leaving tonight I couldn't help but feeling like the most blessed person I know. In the past year I've had the incredible opportunity to experience more learning than I believe I received my entire time in school. It started with the workshop I train to these outside workshops I've been blessed to attend. I'm getting ready to go through one with my company on October 1st called Emergenetics and really excited about it too. I figure the more training the better. No one can ever take away the wisdom and knowledge I've learned along the way.

I got lots of personal wisdom I will write about this week since I'm drained at this point and want to do nothing but hit my pillow. Looking forward to what I "get" to this coming week.

Tour Through Myself

What an amazing three day workshop I just completed at TI with Finley. The class was deep and we pushed them to dig deep within themselves. I had one of the most powerful Life Boats I've facilitated yet. The majority of the room was in tears and really reflecting on what their actions and behaviors are doing to the people around them.

I don't usually spend much time on 9/11 other than to talk about the people aboard United flight 93 that knew what their fate would be and got on their cell phones to reach out one final time to let their loved ones know what they meant and how they impacted their lives. This class I decided to go a little deeper. I shared that I stood on top of the World Trade Center just a month and a half before the disaster.

I shared how I looked at the employees that worked at the Top of the World. I was smiling ear to ear and feeling like I was in heaven. The view was amazing from up there. I remember the lady I bought food from.

I wonder if those people I saw made it out? I wondered if they didn't how they left their families? I wondered if they would have changed anything about their relationships if they had known they weren't returning home that night.

The entire class was a thought provoking one and challenged Finley and I to be our our toes. We really brought some powerful learning to them. At the end of the final process, I shared I would be leaving early to go to a workshop to Sharpen My Saw. I would be spending the next 2 1/2 days taking a tour through myself to discover my "Inner Warrior". I shared with the class I would take a piece of everyone of them with me in my heart this weekend. I truly feel like the most blessed person in the world. Weekly I get to play tour guide and take people through themselves, this weekend I get to do the same thing for myself.

We're Always at Choice

Choice is our greatest human freedom. We are at a moment of choice almost every minute of every day. I can't tell you how many choice I was presented with just today. I'm in day two of the three day workshop I train. It's been absolutely one of the best classes I've facilitated. I even talked about choice today in our opening reflections with the class.

We are faced with choice everyday starting with what time am I going to get out of bed? What am I going to have for breakfast? Which shampoo in my shower am I going to use today? How long am I going to brush my teeth today? Am I going to floss or use my water pick or maybe neither? What color shirt and pants am I going to wear today? Do I need to iron? What time am I going to leave the house to get me to the workshop on time? These are just the choices I make before I even leave my house in the morning. That's only eight but if I dug deeper I could easily double that number.

Every choice we make has a consequence. The consequences of our choice are either a positive one or a negative one, but they always have a consequence. I noticed today I had the choice to speak or not to speak during my facilitation of the class. Sometimes I chose to not say anything and let the learning come from the participants. It was amazing recognizing that choice. I was able to achieve the results I was looking for by not even saying a word.

I also realized how easily we give up our power of choice to others. We let other people make the choices for us. We sometimes are acted upon instead of acting for ourselves.

I shared with the class this morning a preview I saw on CNN for this Saturday and Sunday evenings called "Lifting the Veil" a special showing the abuse of Arab women in Afghanistan. They showed horrible video of them being beaten by just a few men. Driving to work this morning those images were playing through my head. I wondered why the women would just take the abuse? Why they wouldn't fight back? Why they just stood there and watched another woman being beaten in the back by a club? Why the woman would just stand there and be beaten? I don't understand it. It made me wonder why someone wouldn't fight back. I've never been in a fight in my life however I guarantee you, someone attacks me they'd better make it count because I'm coming up fighting and I will fight to kill if necessary.

Don't get me wrong, I would never kill anyone but put me in the right situation and I am human and have every human emotion in me, I would kill put in the right circumstances. I see someone else getting attacked; I'm not standing by and watching. I'm taking a stand and will fight for the person being attacked, and frankly I don't care who it is.

For those of you that have known me for a long time, you're probably thinking this is totally not the Craig we know and love. I will never forget the day I stood over the body of a three year old little girl who had been killed by her mother's boyfriend through child abuse. Every ounce of my being wanted to see that man lying on my slab at the funeral home and not that beautiful child. If I'm ever able to prevent the weak from being attacked, you'd better believe I'm taking it. I truly mean it when I say "Not on My Watch"

Self Righteousness

Recently a friend that reads my blog said he thought I came across "self righteously” in my posts. I told him he gave me a great topic for my blog. I found the feedback interesting since that’s the furthest away from what I want my blog to be.

Self righteousness is something everyone has, the trick it to recognizing when we’re choosing to stand in that self righteousness. When I recognize it, I have the choice to continue standing in it or I can choose to stand outside of it.

I have learned there is no power when I choose to stand in it. When I am being self righteousness, it shuts down all communication. Think about it, if I’m choosing to stand in it, I’m right… everyone else is wrong. There’s no room for me to accept someone else’s view point or perspective. Communication is basically dead.

It’s easy to recognize someone else standing in it. It’s like talking to a brick wall, their not open to anything because they’ve determined their right and the world around them is wrong. When I recognize someone is in this space, I leave the conversation or situation. I give myself and them time to think about what happened and hopefully learn from it.

Think about the examples through history of the most self righteous people. They were so self righteous they didn’t just kill off the communication; they literally killed off the people that threatened their self righteousness the most.

James Wilkes-Booth was “right” and Abraham Lincoln was “wrong”. Mr. Wilkes-Booth entered the theater that night to take the life of the man that he perceived to be wrong. Think how this country may have been impacted further if James Wilkes-Booth would have stepped off his “self-righteous” stool and opened himself up to a different perspective?

Lee Harvey Oswald was “right” and John F. Kennedy was “wrong”. In Dallas on a sunny afternoon in November 1963, Mr. Oswald took the life of someone he perceived to wrong. Think how this country once again could have been impacted positively or negatively if Mr. Oswald wouldn’t have pulled that trigger?

James Earl Ray was “right” and Martin Luther King, Jr. was “wrong”. In 1968 at his motel room in Memphis, TN the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. walked out onto the balcony where Mr. Ray was waiting. Mr. Ray took the life of a man that was changing the face of a nation. Mr. Ray couldn’t step off his self righteousness to explore other possibilities.

True power is recognizing self righteousness stepping outside of it to explore other views, perspectives, another “right” way. I am a human being so am I perfect at this? The answer is no, however I work at it daily.

I love learning about myself and why I do the things I do and why I get the results I get in life. When I post it’s to show my perspective on what ever I am experiencing. It’s not “right” and it’s not “wrong” it’s just simply my experience and my perspective or view on it. I am always open for feedback, without it how can I grow?

Remembering

Where were you six years ago on that fateful Tuesday morning in September?

I was working for Bank of America in Atlanta Georgia living on Buford Highway with David Feschuk in our first town home. I was leaving for work when I got a phone call from my sister to turn on the television. She said a plane hit the World Trade Center in New York.


I visited New York with David, Kendall, Ronnie and Jodie for a week at the end of July. The World Trade Towers were the last stop on our day long bus tour David booked us. I took lots of pictures from the rooftop. The view was incredible.

When my sister told me a plane hit I thought it was a small four seater or something. When I ran back in the house and turned on the TV I realized it was much greater than that.

When I saw the second plane hit I knew we were under attack. That day I was glued to my television just like everyone else.
I went on to work where we had a television in a conference room. Within an hour they were evacuating the Bank of America tower in Atlanta since it was the tallest in the Southeast. It was an eerie feeling with no planes flying over the busiest airport in the Nation. It was weird to read the road signs saying Hartsfield was closed.

I thought of all those people's faces I saw at the top of the tower, wondering who had been lost on that Tuesday morning. I also thought about how many people that worked the previous weekend like I had in Atlanta. I wondered if they knew what their fate would be on that Tuesday morning how they may have spent their last weekend?
Life is short, tomorrow is promised to no one. We all live like there's a large future out there, when really all there is, is right now. If I've got phone calls to make, what am I waiting on? If I have friends I need to reach out to, what am I waiting on? Tomorrow is promised to no one.

9/11/01 woke me up that day. I don't take one day, one hour, one minute for granted. I don't know when the last time will be where I take a final breath, close my eyes one final time. I know life is a gift and I plan on making the most of it I possibly can.

My heart and prayers goes out to all those who've lost someone in 9/11. I will never forget!

Carrying On Her Son's Legacy

On October 7, 1998 Matthew Shepard was pistol-whipped until his skill collapsed and then tied to a fence in freezing temperatures like a scare-crow. A bicyclist riding by early the next morning, thought it was a scare-crow but decided to take a closer look. He discovered Matthew Shepard barely hanging on to life. Matthew passed away later in a hospital. It's a crime that gripped the Nation.

Judy Shepard, Matthew's mother has been traveling the country carrying on her son's legacy. She has become an advocate for the gay community in pushing for hate crime legislation to be pushed through Congress. Mrs. Shepard had no idea on October 6, 1998 that she would be pushed into the National spotlight. She probably had no idea the public recognition and probably unwanted fame that would change her life forever.

I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Mrs. Shepard on Saturday night at the HRC annual dinner here in Las Vegas. It was truly the highlight of the evening for me. I approached her after the dinner was over with a dear friend Eddie. Eddie told me to push through to meet her, but I patiently waited until the two gentleman were done. Mrs. Shepard noticed me behind them and graciously excused herself to come over and meet me.

I told her that I get to share her son's story at least once a week sometimes twice a week in a leadership workshop I train for MGM MIRAGE. I explained that I had researched Matthew and came across a story about how loving and kind he was and he wasn't in favor of the death penalty. When James Byrd Jr. was dragged to his death behind a pickup truck in Jasper, Texas. Matthew and his father talked about what happened to Mr. Byrd and he asked Matthew what he thought and Matthew said he felt the death penalty should be sought for them. Matthew not knowing that just a few months later would also be killed in a similar hate crime that would again grab national attention.

My friend Eddie said as I was talking to Judy Shepard, he noticed she got a little watery eyed. I told her that I love sharing the story about her son because I get to touch people's hearts on a weekly basis. I can't imagine the pain this woman has gone through losing Matthew the way she did, but I'm glad she's taken a firm stand for him. No matter what Fred Phelps has had on his website about Matthew, I know he's in heaven looking down on his mother with great pride.

As I say in my classes, "I believe everyone has a soul and when we let hate no matter how small into that soul, it spreads like a cancer and kills off our soul." We have no room in our hearts and souls for hate.

I Attend Central Christian in Las Vegas

I attended my Church here in Las Vegas this morning and loved the message on happiness. I took my planner so I could take notes and obtained a lot of wisdom from the message.

Central says come as you are and it's incredible that even the pastor comes in blue jeans and a button down shirt most times. We have an incredible music team that consists of a few electric guitars, drums, piano/keyboards, bass players and a handful of back up singers. They create music that's hip, moving and inspirational.

Even though I've been rejected by some Churches because I don't fit their "God" or their "beliefs" I still know God loves me and if God is for me, then who can be against me. It's not been an easy road, but I've become stronger because of that road. Central Christian and the evening with Joel Osteen has filled my heart over flowing with love for my fellow human beings.

I still have so much to learn about life and I thank God everyday when I wake up that I've been granted another day on this beautiful planet. I get to create my legacy each day. I shared with my friend Richard in Atlanta yesterday I feel my sole purpose is to life up the human race. He didn't think that was my sole purpose but I feel it is taking on many different forms. My blog is just one of those avenues. If even one person can get something of value from my experiences then it's worth it. I vision a world without stereotypes, without hatred and prejudices. I vision a world where people are outwardly focused, letting go of ego and pride and learning more humbleness and humility.

Deep Friendships Reunited

Last Saturday I had the opportunity to reconnect with an old friend and his partner in Atlanta. We had not spoken in five years due to some really small issues that neither of us worked through at the time. I can't go back and re-write the past five years but I now have the opportunity to re-write the future with that relationship.

Tim Foster is a dear friend that always had my back. Tim was always there to pick me up when I was feeling down. Tim was always there showing me how beautiful I was on the days that I wasn't able to see it for myself. Tim's heart is as big as the state of Georgia. His partner David reflects the same characteristics as Tim and that's probably why they've been in a four and a half year relationship. They have truly built a life together and are a great example of what is possible.

Someone this past week questioned gay marriage and I stated the view I have of it. I believe some of the social behaviors we see in the gay community have been perpetuated because our relationships aren't recognized, aren't valid in mainstreams eyes. I believe a lot of gay people have just put on the stereotypes that they can't be committed, monogamous, in a serious relationship. It becomes a lot of people's reality, they start living as society has told them they can or can't. I believe I can have a loving, serious, committed, monogamous relationship with another guy no matter who recognizes it. I've got a great role model named Tim Foster to show me that!

We had a great visit in their incredible home even with me spilling my soda all over their end table and hard wood floors. Talk about having heart failure!! We went to dinner at a place near their house and I got incredibly emotional when we were leaving. I miss Tim and wish I had those five years back. I wish I lived closer where I could spend more time around him and David. I will take every opportunity in the future to spend quality time with them. Thanks Tim and David for being the role models and just all around INCREDIBLE people, I'm honored and humbled to call you both friend. I love you both.

What Do My Words Speak?

I had the most amazing evening tonight with five other friends. We all went to see Joel Osteen which you may have seen in my post below. It was much more than I expected. The emotions that flowed through me and my friends were amazing. There was so much love in that arena tonight.

Things were flowing in and out of my mind while I was listening to the uplifting positive messages Joel was sharing. I felt like I was getting renewed in my faith in Christ. I felt like my vision for myself and the world was getting a recharge.

Joel's wife shared some words and they hit me like a ton of bricks. She said "compliments & encouragement is the glue that hold relationships together" We should spend more time encouraging those around us. We should spend more time complimenting those around us. So often in life we're afraid of speaking what is truly in our hearts. We're afraid of being politically correct or not. We're afraid if I speak from my heart I become vulnerable or that we'll be rejected. We tend to put our heart in a box to protect it when really we need to be open to receive any love the world has to give us.

After I posted a couple days ago about Lamont, I received feedback from a few people. They questioned my motives and intentions. It amazed me even when you speak from a place of honesty and integrity how society will try and change it around. Maybe that's become the norm and when people see something totally out of the norm they question the intentions and motives.

I plan on posting about more people in the future on my blog and what I see in them as well. I will ask permission just as I did with Lamont before I post. I hope if nothing else people reading my posts will come to realize there is a lot of great people out there going through the same challenges, barriers and issues as the rest of us.

In closing I can say I truly feel blessed to have many great people in my life. I will be reaching out over the next weeks and months to post about them as well.

An Evening With Joel Osteen

Tonight I'm attending an Evening with Joel Osteen.

His book "Your Best Life Now" teaches some of the same concepts and principles that I train in our workshops at MGM MIRAGE. I shared a story this morning that I watched Joel give in one of his messages I downloaded into my iPod.

Joel has gotten a lot of criticism from churches and other televangelists that don't agree with his message, style and Lord knows what else.

Joel doesn't preach fire and brimstone, he preaches a very positive message. Joel is the senior pastor at Lakewood Church in Houston.

Lakewood Church is a diverse, non-denominational mega-church located in Houston, Texas. As of 2007, it is the largest and fastest growing church in the United States with more than 52,000 attendees during its English and Spanish language services.

Lakewood's commitment to community outreach continues to increase, and its international media broadcast has expanded into over 200 million households in the United States. His broadcasts reach 100 countries around the world touching millions more.

I'm excited about the opportunity to attend this event tonight with my Director, my roommate and other close friends here in Vegas.

Unreasonable Expectations?

What are my expectations of people? What are people’s expectations of me? Am I meeting others expectations? Am I meeting my own expectations? Whose expectations are most important? What is considered an unreasonable expectation?

I can feel someone’s frustrations with me if I’m not meeting their expectations even if their not saying a word. Think of the energy that is expended over frustration that still doesn’t produce the desired results.

This past weekend I had a friend that tended to get frustrated almost everyday at something. Instead of taking action, the behaviors showed the frustration. It’s amazing how we let other people control our happiness, connectedness and inclusion. We tend to give our power away to other people or situations. It turned out to be almost like a victim mentality. Is there another way the situations could have been approached?

If I want to go to dinner with someone, do I wait on them to call me or do I call them? What stories do I create about the person if they don’t call me? What stories do I create in my mind about being rejected, abandoned, and left out if someone doesn’t show up the way I want them to show up? I can’t answer these questions for anyone but myself. I do hope this stirs some thought with a friend that experienced whatever he experienced this past weekend.

I personally don’t let other people create my happiness, my inclusion, my connectedness with others. If I want to be included I make the initiative, I take the action to do so. I don’t expect other people to be responsible for me being included, it’s my responsibility.

No one can make me feel happy, No one can make me feel loved, No one can make me feel rejected, No one can make me feel pain, No one can make me feel angry. I choose to feel those emotions or not feel those emotions; no one has control over those emotions other than myself. It was freeing when I realized this and it gave me incredible power back.

How You Show Up Can Make All The Difference

I discovered this weekend the power of showing up or not showing up in the game of life. I also found that when I show up other people show up as well.

The greatest learning this weekend came from Lamont an incredible guy I met in April of 2006 just two nights before moving back to Las Vegas for the second time. Unfortunately I didn’t get to realize just how incredible he was until this past weekend 1 ½ years later.

I have lived behind fear this entire time and look at all the time I wasted. All the stories and shit I created in my mind about how the second time I would meet him would be. It is another example of me taking away someone else’s power to choose their response because I’ve already determined how they will react.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason even though we may not realize what the reason is until much later or possibly never.

Last November when I was visiting Atlanta for Thanksgiving I saw Lamont (pictured on the left, Joe's on the right) at a club. I knew who he was and walked right by him. I stood across the bar from him, admiring him but way too nervous to approach him. The next day I called him on the phone, mainly because it was safe. He wasn’t sure he was going to make it out the remainder of that weekend. I was all right with it, because my fear of his reaction to seeing me again was so disabling. I left Atlanta without seeing him and getting the opportunity to get to know him on a deeper level.

That all changed this past weekend. I got past those fears put myself out there and learned more about Lamont in just a couple hours and every new thing just kept impressing me more and more. I realize how much wasted time I spent not approaching him last November.

The qualities that jumped out at me the most were his humility, humbleness and vulnerability. Qualities I haven’t found in a lot of gay men. Vanity, self-centered, selfishness, ego, pride seem to be more common especially if you look like Lamont. He is such a nice guy and the internal side of him is actually even more beautiful than the exterior side.

Lamont restored my faith that there are great men out there, focused on more than just a cute piece of ass. He restored my faith that I can have a relationship with another guy that’s no different than what my parents have had in 39 years of marriage. He restored my faith that there are other gay men out there looking for monogamy, commitment and true love with someone who accepts them just as they are without changing them.

I also got to witness disrespectful people approaching Lamont. Even with disrespectful people he handled himself with grace and compassion. People grabbing him, people offering him money (what an insult to his character and humanness), and people wanting only one thing out of him. How sad it is if someone doesn’t take the time to truly get to know Lamont past the physical aspect of his being. He is deeper than the ocean if you take the time to truly listen to his heart.

Lamont probably without even realizing it, gave me invaluable learning this weekend into myself. He gave me the greatest gift you can give another person, his time. One of the highlights of the weekend was yesterday afternoon sitting with him at the mall, just him and I talking about life. There was one point he was talking about home and he got a little watery eyed. He was showing his vulnerability and it was so heart touching and effected me. In that moment all I wanted to do was to hug him and it didn't matter who was around.

I've invited him to Las Vegas to visit and hopefully make memories that will last a life time. I am excited about the opportunity to get more time with him. However, I am also sad today because for not knowing him long or that deep I find myself missing him, his energy and passion for life is infectious. His eyes and smile light up the world around him.

I sincerely thank Lamont for giving me the most precious gift, his time this weekend and creating for me amazing memories of my Labor Day trip to Atlanta.

Still In The Game

Thanks for all of those who have read my blog recently and sent messages of support and/or concern. I know I have a diverse group of readers all over the U.S. and some relate and some get inspiration from what they read. For those new to my blog, it is simply an online diary/journal for me to capture what I'm experiencing on a particular day/time. It's not "right" and it's not "wrong" it is simply my experience and continual learning about myself and life. I appreciate the comments people post and appreciate the emails I receive communicating how the blog effects them.

I have been challenged to post from a place of responsibility and not as a victim. I have accepted this challenge, however even the greatest leaders are still human beings and have their days where their asses get kicked and they disengage at times. Coming from a place of responsibility, I will not sugar coat or water down my feelings and experiences to promote anyone or any company.

If someone gets offended, has a different point of view, doesn't agree that's fine with me. You have the power to not read my blog, you have the power to challenge me in my blog, you have the ability to take away from it anything you'd like. It's just like watching a television show, you have the power to turn the channel.

I am still in the game. I am still going forward with Leadership since I've seen the benefits even in this past weekend in Atlanta. I will be posting a lot about this past weekend and what I learned about myself and relationships with other people.

The most exciting part of the weekend was connecting with someone I hadn't seen in over a year and a half and learning more about him. He totally blew me out of the water with who he is as a person. I'll post more about him shortly once I have his permission.