Self Righteousness

What is the payoff? What is the cost? Is it worth it?

I’ve had some incredible lessons in self righteousness the past few weeks. What is the payoff? I get to be right. I don’t have to listen to someone else’s point of view. I don’t have to listen because I’ve already got it all figured out. My view is the ONLY view and the ONLY correct version. There are plenty of payoffs. It feels great when I’m right. It doesn’t feel so good when I’m not right. Wouldn’t I rather feel good than bad? When I’m right the payoff is I’ve created a “win” for myself

What are the costs? It costs me friendships and relationships in my life. It costs me the power of communication. When I choose to stay in my self righteousness I close off all communication, there’s no room for it. It costs me growth since I’m not open to a possible new perspective. It costs me stress since I can see the frustration in the other person attempting to get through to me. It costs me credibility with people around me. It costs me trustworthiness from other people. It costs me giant set backs in nurturing powerful relationships with others.

Is the payoff worth the cost? Looking long term I believe it’s not since the payoff is temporary in that moment but the costs will last a lot longer if not forever. Is it really worth being right if it costs me much more in the long run? I’ve personally learned the payoff isn’t worth the costs.
Saying all this, it has allowed me to recognize quickly in other people when I’m bumping up against it. It also amazes me when people choose the payoff over the cost. I have gotten much better at walking away when I recognize this going on since no communication is going to move someone until their ready to be open. It totally comes down to choice, which is more important being right or being open.